No one is going to come rescue you. There is no rescue boat.

It’s easy to make excuses.

It’s easy to play the victim.

To believe that someone will whisk you away, make you famous, and never think about any problems ever again.

But to be frank, no one is going to do that.

This is something that I hate conceding to, but I have to if I want to take control of my life.

Yesterday, I was at a crux in my career again. In short, either continue this path on pursuing a full time job in the future or stay where I’m at, continue creating and practicing my skills, and possibly bank on getting a gig within the skateboard industry.

If you know me, I love skateboarding.

It was my first love. The first thing that I was hooked on and am still hooked on. As I was leaving work today, I was so happy that I was going to be skating tomorrow. However, the constraints of age, health care, and my desire to be self sufficient when my Dad is no longer on this earth are strong influencers to just getting a regular 9-5 job with a 401k and benefits.

Yesterday, I talked about Tyshawn Jones and how when he was younger, his resolve was to become a professional skateboarder. That dream came true and like I said yesterday, he was crowned Thrasher Magazine’s Skater of the Year. A prestigious award in skateboarding that basically says, you are the very best.

I bring this up one more time because as much as I want to just get a job at a design agency and get benefits and start saving up for retirement, the little skate rat kid inside of me is saying, this is your last chance. These 2 years are your last chance to pursue what you love.

My resolve is very weak. I know I can’t be a professional skateboarder, but I want to work in the industry because I know that I could make it as a graphic designer. I know for sure that my future as a graphic designer is in cement. But getting into the industry that I want is the question. Especially in an industry that doesn’t have that much money unless you’re a part of Street League, Nike, Adidas, New Balance, and a few other big companies. However, that’s my assumption. I could also just be freaking out because the map that I started making for myself last month has started to go off course.

I guess the most important thing I can do is keep going forward, but know that I can’t be waiting for someone to just give me what I want. I’m the only one who can give me what I want.

Below is a design that I made for a friend. I put a call out on Instagram to see if anyone would want me to make them a zine like post just because I wanted to practice my design. It’s a lot of full bleed images with some quotes from Frank Ocean.

I’m having a lot of fun making these, but the issue is that I’m not sure if I’m practicing design anymore. One thing that I know I need to do is watch more videos so that I can understand the theory behind everything.

To rewrite my goals, I think it’s to watch one design video a day on typography. Make a poster or something of the sort using behance and my photos.