bradley afroilan

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It's your job to make yourself happy, not your employer's job

This statement has never been so real right now in my life especially in the time when I’m learning about investing and stocks.

It’s sad to think how going to school is just training to be a worker when you get out.

How my dreams are dictated by the cash flow given from my employer.

How it’s so much harder to go the freelance way without any leads, no health insurance, and no benefits, but you have your time.

How there’s just so much that could go wrong.

But I think again of what James Victore said, I wouldn’t allow that to happen. In a letter from a writer, she writes that she’s scared to go into freelance work because of all the things that could go wrong. He comments, nothing will go wrong because you’re not going to let that happen.

He also talks about how we aim for security in life and blatantly says, “Fxk that.”

As someone in my 20s, this is something that is actually really refreshing to hear.

When it comes to speculative investing, it’s better to be risky now rather than risky in my later years. This is exactly what I need to be doing.

However, now that I’m not posting every single day on Linkedin, I just don’t feel like I’m doing anything. I’ve been writing down everything that I’ve done for the last 31 days. Even if I don’t write it down, I have a recollection of what I did based on this blog right here and frankly, it is a lot.

Today, I decided to take a break. I didn’t go for a run and instead, I decided to stay inside and just have my dog run around the backyard. Frankly, I feel very antsy. Maybe it is because of the run that I can actually focus. All day, I’ve been trying to do a case study for another project, but I keep taking breaks and getting distracted. However, it’s nice that I wrote down today that my goal was just to start it. I did start it. That should be enough. But when is it ever enough?

I found myself dozing off last night after my economics class right before I needed to post on Instagram. I ended up posting and then just falling asleep afterwards.

I think about how Chris Do says that he would just fall asleep in the Computer lab in a talk he was giving when he was in college. Fortunately, I’m not falling asleep in the computer lab, but in the comfort of my bed, but when is it ever enough. I like the idea of work life integration where everything is supposed to be play, but it’s stressful to make believe that it’s play. It’s definitely play when I just make things that I want to make, but when it comes down to it, I don’t know if those things that I make that are fun are going to get me where I want to be. Right now, I’m trying to get a new job in January. I think I’m just stressing out again.

What I should do though since I have a meeting at 6pm is just stop what I’m doing and relax. I’ve already started the case study and I can’t finish it because I don’t have all the necessary documents to show my work. This definitely feels a lot like school all over again when I had to give myself permission to stop barking up a tree or beating a dead horse or whatever conundrum or analogy that says just stop what you’re doing. After I finish writing this, I’m going to quickly write what I think I should say in my case study and then stop for the night. The most I should be doing after this is watching typography videos.

But it’s interesting because I still want to make things, but I don’t have what’s necessary to make it yet. However, I do, but I think I’m just fearing my creativity.

Ok, to reassess. Here’s the plan.

Write briefly what my case study is about

Cook food

Have my meeting

Make something skateboard related. Use photos of Tyshawn Jones and make something cool.

Watch Typography videos

Sleep

Below I decided to keep exploring typography and use rules and shapes in order to make designs. I think I’m starting to get a better understanding

Bradley Afroilan