Today, the first day of January 2019, started off rather strange. I came back from a New Year’s Party last night, went to sleep, and woke up very tired. We weren’t out that late. We came back at around 1:30am/ 2am and I woke up at 8am. But for some odd reason, everything just felt very off. It’s not the best thing especially when it’s the new year and your trying to have resolutions and things like that. However, like I said, my resolution started back in November. Dang, it’s almost been 2 months. I really need to actually start investing. However, I’ve been focused on looking for new gigs right now. I recently saw the sample application for the Adobe Creative Residency. It opens up on January 7th so I’m trying to figure out how to write a proposal and fortunately, I have a resource that I bought that will hopefully help me do so.
I really want this year to be the year that I actually become the person I didn’t think I wanted to become. What I mean by that is that I want to have some type of influence in this world because the fact that it’s 2019 and the fact that 19 years ago it was 2000 has a very shocking feel to me. I could literally wake up tomorrow and be like, dam I’m 40 years old and what have I done.
I don’t want to look back at life and say, I should have done this. I should have gone on dates more, I should have just talked to that person, I should have made more things, I should have…etc.
I’m not entirely sure what 2019 has in store, but for sure this year, I want to be a little bit more in control. But what that means doesn’t mean doing things comfortably, it means doing the things that I don’t like to do because I know that way is the path that will lead me to the most growth. It’s like the opposite of learning how to swim which is a gradual process. Literally, I’m trying to throw myself into the pool and just see what happens. It’s strange because a friend last night was talking to me about astrology and all that crap. So my signs are earth signs which basically means that I take comfort in routine. It’s gonna be hard this year to get myself out of that. However, I think that’s exactly what I want to do if I want to have the most growth. Maybe this year is supposed to be a yes year. Where I just say yes to everything? Not entirely sure if that’s the best idea? But maybe I should just do the things that I don’t want to do. I feel like that’s going to be a lot of nights out in manhattan. A lot of rides on the subway. A lot of acting in a way that I’m not used to doing. When I say that, I think that means being a bit more forward in the relationships that I develop with women that I go on dates with?
My roommate said to me last night as we were ubering back how dating is the best way to learn about yourself. It’s figuring out what you like, what you don’t like, and finding the right balance between people. It’s actually a nice learning experience especially since I went to an all guy school in high school. I guess I’m just a really late bloomer even though apparently a bunch of people in the past have flirted with me, but I’m never cognizant of it since I’m just so focused on myself.
Welp, the design below is just a quick preview of something I made today that I’ll put up tomorrow. VHS inspired and I’m happy with it.