Why be average?

Is it because it’s safe? I don’t think anyone really wants to be average. I think when we were all younger, we wanted to be the best. However, something along the way influences us to not give that much anymore.

I’m trying to figure out what that is for me.

Yesterday, Tyshawn Jones, 19, of the Bronx, NY was crowned Thrasher’s Skater of the Year 2018. The guy is only 19 and he’s accomplished a lot already. Now this isn’t a comparison when I say, I’ve achieved a lot such as graduate from the number 1 public institution with honors. Both hold significant merit. However, TJ knew what he wanted when he was younger and went for it. Me, I started skating when I was 12, but didn’t think a career in skateboarding would be feasible. I’m a child of immigrants. The weight of their dreams were on my shoulders so not graduating college was out of the question. But here I am. 24 years old. Not entirely sure if I just want to be a graphic designer at an agency. Or go into the skateboard industry and be a graphic designer there. Regardless, I’m going to be a graphic designer. I think what has been bothering me is getting a 401k and health benefits. I don’t want to be working for the rest of my life. At some point, i just want to do what I want to do. I kind of am already right now. It’s just that I have a lot of time, but not a lot of money. I do have a lot saved up though and I have my college fund that I never used thanks to financial aid. Every single year since graduation, I’ve gotten a bit more focused on what I want to do. I’m a little out of focus right now because I want to be a graphic designer, but I just don’t know what would be best for me. Keep myself inside the world of skateboarding or leave it as a hobby and go to an agency.

Decisions. Decisions.

Below, is a collage of 35mm photos. These are of the friends who kept me company during the cold winter nights in New York. This is probably my favorite thing to make right now. I can’t wait to shoot more things and make more collages like it.

I made a lot of things yesterday. I made like 3 layouts for Instagram/ Behance/ my portfolio when I finally decide to upload everything. I felt so productive yesterday. However, I ended up staying up until like 2am. I stopped working at 12am, but for some odd reason, I just couldn’t sleep. So much was going on. I made the layouts, I updated my portfolio, got a date, posted on instagram and it did pretty well. However, I’m suffering from some acid reflux right now. Maybe because I’m stressed? I’m not sure.

I think I finally know what I want to post. The thing though is that it has to be about me. That's something that James Victore talked about today while I was listening to his talks while in the shower. As long as your work reflects you, it will resonate with others. All my past work kind of had me in it because I shot the photo or made the design. But people don’t care about people that they don’t know. They care about you and why you care about that person or why you are posting it. You have to be in it.

For me as an introvert, it’s kind of a weird flex. But it’s not. It’s just posting about myself which is what facebook is and what all these social media platforms are about. However, whatever I post needs to be able to disrupt. It has to give value. As a designer, it’s about giving an experience to someone that they haven’t experienced before. Wow, I’m sound like a UX designer/ researcher. Looks like all those years of researching for sociology is paying off a bit. Huh, it’s funny that my degree is in sociology, but I’m a designer.

Below, I decided to copy/ take inspiration from several posts that I pinned from instagram and archived on pinterest. These are for a small digital zine that I’ll be posting online in a little bit after I have all three made and mocked up so that I can use it for a portfolio.

The concept behind it is, “what happens when you’re sober at a party and have a camera?” Or rather, “what happens when you just have a camera.” For the longest time I’ve believed that I needed to be a part of a collective to make one of these things. That I needed permission to make it. The permission that I have to make this is my own and also by the fact that I bought the Adobe Creative Suite/Cloud a long time ago and can make whatever I want. I don’t need permission. I don’t care if it’s bad or if it’s good. As long as I think it’s good and as long as I made something, then it’s a success. And with this theme of this blog, success is the compounding of small significant steps that lead up to a big thing - I just don’t know what that thing is.

James Victore says this in a video that I watched 2 days ago. Seth Godin also says something along the same lines. Basically, don’t ask permission to create something. Just make it. (See how I resisted Nike’s Just do it slogan.)

Make it. And never hold back because that’s what artists are good at. They don’t save a specific stroke for a different project even though at times when I’m making something, I hold off certain pieces for a better time. (Working on that) However, who cares if I have to reuse an image. No one really cares especially in this digital age because someone will see it for one second, double tap it, and move on. Our society today has the attention span of a goldfish where we just forget everything. Sure, there are helpful options such as archiving, but if you archive it and say that you’re going to use it as a reference for a project, you’re most likely not going to use it. I have so many archived posts from instagram and pinterest from the last year and a half that I said I would make something with, but never did until now. I have so many photos that I could’ve just thrown into a layout. I also could just take images from online and make it into a layout. For the longest time, I believed that I had to wait for the job to tell me that it’s okay to make something. Recently at a job, I just made something to make something, and they liked it and posted on their page. They didn’t even know that they wanted me to make it. I just made it and it got recognition.

My point is, just make it. The worst that can happen is that the person sends a cease and desist letter. The best is up to your imagination.

Below, I decided to copy/ take inspiration from several posts that I pinned from instagram and archived on pinterest. These are for a small digital zine that I’ll be posting online in a little bit after I have all three made and mocked up so that I can use it for a portfolio.

The concept behind it is, “what happens when you’re sober at a party and have a camera?” Or rather, “what happens when you just have a camera.” For the longest time I’ve believed that I needed to be a part of a collective to make one of these things. That I needed permission to make it. The permission that I have to make this is my own and also by the fact that I bought the Adobe Creative Suite/Cloud a long time ago and can make whatever I want. I don’t need permission. I don’t care if it’s bad or if it’s good. As long as I think it’s good and as long as I made something, then it’s a success. And with this theme of this blog, success is the compounding of small significant steps that lead up to a big thing - I just don’t know what that thing is.

For awhile, I’ve been wanting to make a zine. It’s a very young person thing to want to make a zine that centers around what one might see. I even wanted to do an instagram themed page where I just post pictures from my nights out in NYC in a design layout. Reason being is because during all those times, I’m always sober. While I had a one drink like a month ago, before that I did not drink anything before that time for a whole year. Consequently, since my roommates and I went out with our friends a lot, I had to figure out what could I do to enjoy myself at a bar. Well, bring a film camera and just have a good time listening to music and stop worrying about what other people are thinking. Half the time, those folks aren’t thinking negative thoughts towards me. They’re just trying to figure things out on their own. They probably don’t even care that I’m there. Well anywho, here’s the cover page of “Sober in NY” or Sober In New York. I plan on posting these at some point in instagram and really making these look nice.

As for everything else that’s going on, Adobe decided to crash on me and fall apart. I haven’t been able to design anything today and I’m trying to figure out what to do.

I also got double swiped again while taking the subway so I ended up just walking home since it’s so close. I was with my dog at the vet and just have had it with the MTA. Currently, I’m trying to figure out how to get my adobe creative suite up and running again because this is my livelihood.

Despite the bad things going on right now, I had a great conversation with another skater at the coffee shop that I like to go to when Gemma (my dog) is at the vet/ whenever I want to go do work somewhere else that isn’t my home.

March 2018. Double peace signs in front of a friend who had a fun night in the Low Low