Following work today, I met up with a Cal Alumni from the class of 1956.
I met him at the Public Service Center gathering of alumni about 2 or 3 Saturdays ago.
It was a bit odd to network and ask for help.
Currently right now, I'm a bit out of place.
I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing right now.
I don't really like being in transitions, but he like my cousin said that life is always changing and if it's still, then life is done.
He told me not to live life with regrets. He told me to get lost to go and find myself.
To do so, I needed to travel and I needed to stop making excuses.
He also said that I've been born again into the world and that I'm still a baby still becuase he empathized with me and told me that he didn't know what he was doing at 21 years of age.
I keep forgetting that I have 9 years before I turn 30 and that means I have a lot of time to go explore before I "settle" or rather slow down.
I felt a bit uncomfortable just straight up asking questions.
I remember my counselor telling me that if in you're gut you feel something wrong about something or even someone, it's best maybe to not engage.
But how else am I going to learn in this world?
I can't always be in conversation with like minded people or people who make me feel comfortable.
Like Bambu says, conflict creates change.
I even asked him about heartbreak.
He said it's something that I just have to learn to accept.
With respect to my Mom's death, he said that I should dedicate my life to living for her.
He shared some bits and pieces of his life to empathize with me.
I appreciated that a lot becuase I don't talk to a lot of people about love.
I'm just starting.
My heart thirsts for anything about any information about love.
The world is very uncertain to me right now.
But I know I need to dig deeper into this uncertainty to find some truth and clarity.
Part of the first step to doing so is cutting the umbilical cord from UC Berkeley.
I can visit, but I need to explore more and get away from what is safe.