i've been waiting to post this picture for quite some time. i wrote this back in january because i wanted to be more true to myself rather than just always say good or well when people asked me how i was doing. for fall semester and even right now, my answer is usually just okay. but sometimes, my answer is better and the reason why i say better is because better is more fitting word that describes how i feel. "better" is within the spectrum of okay and good or even good and great. so rather than lying, i say i'm doing okay or i'm doing better. however, when i do say i'm doing better, the question that might come next is, were you not doing so well before. at the same time, i appreciate this ensuing conversation just because i get to actually talk to the person about how i'm feeling and also it gets the persxn thinking, maybe they too should be a bit more true about how they're feeling.
i say i'm doing better today because a lot of good things are happening to me, but the problem is that i can't seem to appreciate them. this morning, my friend and i got a request from the daily cal in order to write about the piece that we created. i honestly don't have expectations for this artistic piece. really what i wanted was the education to go out in a palatable way that doesn't make people too angry. this is why i like art. art is like water, it's very flexible and it finds its wayto where it needs to be. it doesn't do it in harmful or invasive way either. well depending on the art...
i know i'm definiely doing better, i just wish i could move on from what still lingers in my body. that's what i'm trying to name right now.
i think it's fear~