recently, i was walking through the berkeley forest at night. i was feeling way too many emotions at once and really didn't know what to do. i ended up slowing down and reflected, "what am i feeling right now?"
as soon as i said the word, anxiety, a cool chill went up and down my spine. i calmed down.
i'm very thankful that i'm taking poetry for the people right now because it requires me to name specific feelings and compare them to tangible things. as a result, i've named these feelings and as well, have comparable, tangible images.
my emotions are children. they are currently all over the place and are making a mess and i must reason with them in order to calm them down.
however, the children, anger, sadness, jealousy, and fear are all up in my face right now, all screaming and wanting attention.
i was talking to a psychologist today and she said to me that it is interesting how you compare your emotions to children because with children, they cannot be dealt with all at once; they must be reasoned and calmed one at a time.
right now, i just want to focus on happiness. happiness is the child who is in the corner of the room, shouting that good things are happening to me. and good things definitely are, but it is hard to hear happiness when anger, jealousy, sadness, and fear are 4x as loud.
it's hard to focus on the small voice of happiness, but i want to focus on what happiness is saying/ what happiness needs right now.
happiness needs me to love myself.
but i still have no idea how~