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The Last Semester

3.4.16

sadness and i had a long conversation today.
not much was said.
but a lot was said.

sadness decided to come and visit me today. if you're just tuning in, in short, i use the metaphor of comparing my emotions to children that i must tend to very delicately. it's funny, i almost feel like their (my emotions) counselor. it's funny too because i see counseling every week or once every two weeks.

as i walked from the PSC to go home, i bumped into sadness who  decided to join me for the walk home. i talked about sadness today in counseling and how they're one emotion that i deal with a lot. 
sadness just wanted to be with me today. they did not want to talk.  they just wanted to be with me.
when i reflect upon this now, it's interesting how i think that sadness just wants silence sometimes even though sadness wanted to be with me.
we walked to various boba stores, thinking that i would buy boba, but either the line was too long or i just didn't want to revist a harsh place in my memory, i didn't buy boba.
we ended up going home, eating, and then driving up to lawrence hall of science where i took this photo. 
sadness drove with me down in order make sure that i made it down the sprialing curves of the mountain, but decided their visit was done when i went to the grocery store. 

sadness is the child i still don't know how to deal with. in the past, i used to say that i felt happy when i was sad. but now, i just can't deal with sadness because i know it's my seasonal depression or just depression in general kicking in. 
i'll have to wait the next time sadness visits me