I'm not sure if this field attracts low self esteem or creates low self esteem

Not just as a creative person, but just in general, I’ve always compared myself to other people.

Whether it was in cross country running, school, or skateboarding, I’ve always compared myself. I can trace that to my upbringing and how I always compared myself to my sister because I always felt that I was inferior. That story is not for now nor will it ever be on this because that is an area of my life that has been worked through and digging that hole up again would be reviving some bad memories.

Any who, when it comes to being creative, this statement “I’m not sure if this field attract low self esteem or creates low self esteem” fascinates me. There’s so much that is loaded in the first half because often times, creative people are very vulnerable (read as open) people. They are people who have some trauma in some sort of way. Mine is that I lost my mother when I was 8 and have dealt with a lot of that trauma through therapy and my own form of therapy through art. I’m not entirely sure how I was drawn to art, especially during my last year of college which catapulted me into the career I’m in now. I do recall when I was younger that I loved drawing Dragon Ball Z characters. As for the second half, “it creates low self esteem".” I think that comes from when you create something, someone out there is creating as well and the feeling that your work is inadequate when you look at it, creates that lack of self worth. It’s an interesting statement to just hear, read, and examine. But let’s look at the word self esteem and change the focus to self worth.

Like I said yesterday, Self worth shouldn’t come from someone else’s approval. It’s nice to have a hype man in your corner, but if you really want to get something done, you gotta be the one to do it. No one is going to come and rescue you. Understanding that and knowing that my decisions affect the outcome motivates me to try a little harder, but be smarter. I’m not the 14 year old freshman in high school who is staying up late every night to finish homework. (Well, I’m staying up a bit late to keep creating and pushing myself). The difference is that I know that I need help along the way. It’s not what you know, it’s who you know. But the best person to know, is myself because the best truth that I know is the one that is inside of me.

Below, I decided to keep moving with the typography challenge from The Futur. These are the designs using one point and one weight size and one image.

I keep changing my mind on what my goals are for each day. Bad, but it’s because I need to practice my typography in one way or another. Best way is to keep doing it.