my initials are BA. stands for badass


Flustered in the morning, better now

So I woke up today and was very flustered.

I was flustered because of the sprained ankle. I wasn’t sure if I was going to work or not. I’m fortunate that I have a caring boss who allowed me to stay home today to rest. It’s difficult though because this week is our volunteer conference and I needed to finish a few things.

A lot of things are going on in my life right now. New potential opportunities and a love interest, plus all the other things that are normal such as skating and design, well it’s just design now.

I thought of this as the perfect opportunity to focus on my app. As you can see below, I’ve made some good progress. I only have 4 more sections to create and it’s mainly design which is good. Tomorrow I can get a very good start on that which is good.

It’s nice to have friends to talk to/ hangout with. Perspective is super important.

I think I wrote this yesterday, but I totally forgot. No one has all the answers, but they have perspective.

I talked to a friend who is about leave NYC this week. I explained to him how I felt like the ankle sprain was a sign from the universe saying that I’m not cutout for this life that is filled with excitement, skateboarding, design, and love. However, he approached it by saying, I don’t see it that way Bradley. You were just having fun and shit happens, especially when it comes to skateboarding.

He pointed out a very agnostic/atheist point of view. For me, I’m more agnostic/catholic since catholic is my upbringing. However, I tend to think that the divine has more control over my life. He explained to me after using our past relationship when we first lived together in berkeley how I had been working so hard to be a graphic designer which was 80% of my effort. 20% of success is also luck. I tend to look at the 20% and weigh it more than the 80% of effort that is all me. In short, my successes and my failures should be attributed to the 80% of effort that I have control over, not the 20% of luck or the divine. It’s a cool way of looking at things because it simplifies that I’m in control of my life despite there being external forces, I still have to make decisions.

I talked to one of my closest friends afterwards about drawing lines/ boundaries for a relationship. She explained that it’s based on priorities of family, work, then partner, but the overarching umbrella is her well being. Communication is so important in a relationship and just being able to tell someone straight up that they need time to do something.

Since I’m venturing in the world of love and relationships again, it’s a bit overwhelming. Individuality is something that is also important too. Don’t want to be the person who disappears after finding someone. As well, I asked her if everything that she needed to be successful in a relationship was already inside of her. This question was based on the Wizard of Oz with the characters who say they are missing key characteristics, but already have them, but just need physical representation.

She said yes and it was tough at first, but with anything, you’re well equipped and will figure out how to deal with the situation when it arises.

Also, hanging out with a friend who likes to just bike around and shoot photos is always fun. It’s fun to just get my mind off of things.

So my ankle. It’s better. I probably shouldn’t be on it, but I have no choice. I can only do so much since I gotta be everywhere I want to be in NYC. I’m glad that there are people in my life who care though. Even if it’s just hanging out, it’s appreciated.

3 good things

  1. Hung out with my friend

  2. Talked to my friends back in California/ here in NYC

  3. Finished a roll of film

The proposal is starting to come together. I should have some type of first draft tomorrow hopefully. We’ll see because I also need to finish my film project.

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Bradley Afroilan