5.29.16

I went to a friend from high school's college graduation party.
note we're both 21/22 years old.

it's funny cause I walked in with a bottle of tequila and almost every person I met greeted me with a smile.

even my old cross country coach that I hadn't seen in like 2 years.

it was great to catch up and see how he's doing and as well the school.

i forgot how much I loved running and cross country.

that's how I met most of my friends in high school.

most of us haven't changed.

some are graduating next week.

one is going to grad school in Georgia.

i have my own place and a job and I'm just chilling right now.

it's strange how 8 years have gone by and yet I'm still connected with my high school and these friends.

i took my shot with my friend.

just one, but to be able to have a drink with a friend who I grew up with and have gone through a heartbreak with meant a lot to me.

im at my aunt's house right now.

i think we're going to finally get internet on Tuesday. But we'll see.

its nice to sit and laugh with my aunt, uncle and Pops.

as usual or for the ump-teenth time, my aunt has asked if I have a partner. 

I had one.

kind of.

we were never official.

yet I've been heartbroken this whole year too recently when I started to get some closure.

im glad that I didn't get the job in DC.

i think a spirit out there wants to keep me here.

as well, I think being with people will be good for me because I've been so lonely for a while.

but lonely and loneliness are different.

lonely to me mans absence of people.

loneliness means being surrounded by people but not feeling understood or actually supported.

i feel both a lot. Especially in the summer time.

usually I'm alone. Most of my birthdays are celebrated alone.

usually no friends come over and I just sit. Even though birthday's shouldn't be such a big deal.

i mean who wants to get older after 21, right?

no I'm just kidding to an extent about that.

anywho birthdays shouldn't be made such a big deal, but it's nice to have people focus some attention on you every year.

i hope this summer is a lot better.

it's starting off pretty well and I haven't lost my cool, but I'm still suspicious~