everyday is a bit of struggle and a lot of times, i'm not entirely sure what to do except to try to keep going along with this institutional structure that rewards working endless hours and not taking time for oneself to heal. however, i have to remind myself, especially after my most recent #wordwednesday, that i don't have to face my challenges alone. family is here. i finally talked to my pops today about my mental health. he's known that i've been seeing a counselor since the fall semester. i haven't always felt the most comfortable talking to my pops about a lot of things, but today just felt different because i also wanted to tell him what my future plans for post grad were.
i received a lot of positive reinforcement today and one thing my pops told me that is sticking with me right now is his realization when he lost his partner. i can't have everything
he elaborated more and how i interpreted this was, love and cherish what you do have. now the image above is of a nameless character and a skateboard. skateboarding has been my gateway back to childhood and my temporary escape from my problems. i went skating earlier and even won a game of S.K.8. against a guy named shorty. i also fell while trying to back 180 the 3 stair. but falling and feeling pain for me is a good reminder that i'm humxn who feels emotions. even if pain is an emotion i think most of us do not want to feel, in my current state, i like it because it reminds me that i am humxn despite the way people may alienate/dehumxnize me. it's a thought that grounds me back into the present
haha, get it, grounds me cause i fell :p
now i should've probably drawn two of the characters, one representing a pops and one a son because this still represents materialism, but this kind of just flowed out of my hands~