So I’m back here again and I’m going to try to be consistent with creating one thing per day. Doesn’t matter what it is, but I’m glad that I’m finally creating again. Not to say that I haven’t been creating it’s just that finally I feel like I broke out of the hole. I was back in California this past week to visit my aunt who isn’t doing so well. It was a lot of emotional labor and holding space for family and friends. I knew that it wasn’t going to be a break. However, as I was driving with my Dad back to the airport yesterday, I started getting mad. I remembered what Darren Hardy said once which was get mad. Use anger as a motivator to get you out of the situation that you are in. Frankly, it’s a good idea. In the last week I’ve revamped my portfolio again and made it look more like my style. I’m hoping that I attract the right audience. I’m just happy that I’m finally feeling how I did back in November which was excited. Let’s see where this goes.

3 good things

1. Ran Today

2. Saw an apartment and really liked it

3. Finished up my portfolio and resume

4. Didn’t eat too much

5. Got to spend time with my dog

3 good things

Really fun bike ride to work

Happy to have food

last day at work. Bittersweet, but a bit more stressful than I would have liked it to be. I don’t know why, but I was in a foul mood for some odd reason. I just didn’t want to do anything, but obviously since this was my last day, there was so much to get done. But I think this is a good foreshadowing of the next gig. I’m going to be an intern and I’m expecting that I’m going to be doing a lot. I got 3 months to prove that I’m worth a full time gig. But also, if it doesn’t work out, then that means that I also have 3 months to figure out what I want to do next.

When I first started on this blog, this became a space for me to track my progress when it came to design and a little bit of investing. I’ve kind of forgotten about investing. But at the same time, I’m looking for that 401k/benefits thing so that I can actually start saving for retirement/ start investing in stocks/ putting my money away.

I keep saying that I’m going to reset and do certain things, but idk, I still keep thinking that this design thing is going to go somewhere. I’m still kind of thinking that hopefully I get the Adobe Creative Residency. The chances are very slim. It would be really cool. I just don’t know.

I guess I just leave everything to fate I guess.

I’m really tired after this week. Had a 5 day week and I’m going out again to go film skateboarding and I have a photoshoot at night. I’m really trying.

So I drew this yesterday, I just forgot to post it up. Actually, as I was going to bed and was putting my computer down, I realized I never wrote this down or posted anything.

oh well.

3 good things

My boss explained to me how a lot of people in senior staff at my job got sad when they heard that I was leaving the Fresh Air Fund. To me, I kind of felt that that’s kind of how it is for everyone whenever they leave, but my boss was saying how some folks wished that they could’ve found a full time position for me there. Apparently, the impact that I’ve had on the organization even with me only being there part-time was a lot. That means a lot to me because I don’t have to do much except be myself, be kind, and do a good job in order for people to recognize me. It’s nice that I can do that in this space, but alas, this isn’t the space that I want to be in anymore. My boss imparted to me these words and frankly, at a time where I’m going through some dating challenges of ending and starting up again, it’s nice to hear words that complement me in a professional space. It’s nice to know that they think of me as family there and would love to have me help out in whatever capacity that I can. If I can, I’d love to go to camp to just get out of NYC.

To be honest, I haven’t really processed this move as much. It’s just as big as my move from UCSB to Berkeley, but it just doesn’t have as much gravity. I guess it’s because I’m looking for more and what was nice was that my boss also agreed that I couldn’t grow anymore in that position. So I definitely think that this is a good move for me. The next 3 months will be battle and I have to give it everything I got. I really want to get a full time position here within that time so that I can finally have a bit more experience under my belt and also to feel a bit more confident about what I’m doing.

2 other good things.

Subway ride home was really fast as compared to the subway ride to work. Jeez.

Hmm. Yesterday was kind of on my mind today, but it wasn’t so debilitating. What I’m trying to process right now is, if I keep looking for fun, but not an actual relationship, then am I only going to get fun? I won’t get hurt. Or maybe I will. I’ve been wondering if I should take a break and just go back to designing. Part of me wants to just focus on career stuff again because I haven’t focused on it in awhile, well I have been, but I haven’t been producing as much as I would have liked.

Today’s drawing is of Grant Taylor. Jeez, this guy is a beast when it comes to just skating everything especially Tranny.