my initials are BA. stands for badass


I'm just writing my darkest secrets like wait and just hear me out 

It’s a beautiful thing to feel whole, but still pursuing wholeness. There are a lot of things to be thankful for. For one, I’m standing up for myself and being assertive. There were 3 instances today and one of them stood out to me the most was while I was riding the subway. Usually, I don’t ride the subway because I prefer to bike, there are less people, and I’m not underground for hours on end.

However, another main reason is because the turnstiles like to eat my swipes whenever I swipe in. Today, it happened again. I was at the turnstile for a bit swiping and it finally let me in, but it took all of the money that I put on there. All $5.50 cents. Now it’s no big sweat, but for someone who is frugal, I don’t like getting ripped off and I’m practical. In the past when this happens, I usually just let it be, never pursue any questions, and end up paying another $2.75 because my initial thought was that there is nothing that the MTA could do for me. As soon as I thought this, the saying “The answer is always no if you never ask.” There’s always an internal battle inside me when it comes to matters of putting myself out there. I don’t like doing so because I don’t want to bother people/ be rejected. However, I decided to model off a grad school speaker who said to me after I asked a question about dropping out after getting your masters, “who says you can’t do that?” At that moment, my resolve was to go to the booth when I got to my destination and inquire about the subway turnstile eating my subway swipe.

When I got to the booth in Times Square, I told them what had happened and even though MTA couldn’t offer me a refund, they told me as a courtesy they would let me through the turnstile without having to pay again. Even though I was on my way to work, I knew that if I just went to the booth and asked the same question that they would let me through and they did.

Growth is sum of the small, but significant steps like these to be the individual you want to grow into. It doesn’t seem like much, but this was a good day navigating NYC on my own.

Regarding design, work was good. I was really excited to just make a lot of designs and at a certain point did not even want to go to lunch because I was having fun. It looks like my resolve is finally back.

For these designs, I copied the layout in the slide if you press the next button. The parameters were to create a design that uses any weight and any point size.

There’s nothing wrong with copying because it’s like cooking as Chris Do says. I want to taste the original many times before so that I know what works and then eventually branch off and make my own dishes.